Over the winter
by TheMagnaka
Summary: Arthur try to understand more of his friend and is fighting over his own life. part 3 of my BF-serie.
1. We always can hope

_This story is set between the stories Blind Future and Future to remember and is actually more like collection of one shots. No beta right now._

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><p>"Where is he?" Arthur tried to rise from his bed but it was easy to Gaius just push him back. Arthur was too weak to resist back.<p>

"Arthur, you have to calm down!" Gaius' voice was stern.

"Then tell me, where he is? You haven't told me anything! Tell me that… tell that he isn't…"

"No." Gaius answered quickly. He saw how desperate Arthur was to know, how scared he was. It had lasted two weeks before the prince was awakened.

"Thank the gods. I had to see him Gaius. Gaius?" Arthur tried to rise again. He really didn't like the feature of Gaius.

"Arthur, sat before you hurt yourself more." Gaius sighed. Arthur shook his head.

"What is wrong? Gaius? Look at me! What is going on?"

"Merlin, he… To tell the truth, we don't know is he alive or not."

Arthur stared the old physician.

"What? Why?"

"His injures, they were so much worse than yours. I tried, I really tried, but…" How in earth he was going to tell this.

"Where he is?" Arthur demanded to know, his tone hardening.

"He is gone. We have to look for help from the Great Dragon."

Arthur was stunned.

"The Great Dragon?" He gave a weak laugh. "You have to be kidding me, right? I killed that dragon. It is dead! Merlin and knight were there. And Merlin saw how I…" His voice died away. Gaius refused to look him and Arthur realized.

"Merlin was there. He told me how I killed it. But it wasn't the truth, right?"

"No."

"So, he used his magic then. But why he didn't kill that thing?" Now Arthur was truly confused.

"Because Merlin is the last Dragonlord and Kilgharrah is the last dragon of the world. He couldn't kill his own kin."

"His own kin? Dragon? His own KIN? And I though that Balinor was the last one."

"No, because inheritance passes from father to son." Gaius explained.

"To son? You mean…" Arthur just couldn't end that sentence.

"Balinor was his father." Gaius admitted.

"Balinor was his father." Arthur repeated slowly. " That explains something. But why he set it free?"

Gaius winched, he couldn't tell the truth about _setting it free_.

"You know that Merlin is somehow more magic being than human. And so are dragons."

Arthur remembered the conversation they had the rampart. When Merlin was said that he feel himself being a monster. When he had request Arthur to not ask too many questions, that he was going to tell him everything eventually.

"And maybe it was good thing that Kilgharrah is free. Maybe he really can save Merlin."

"Save him? So Merlin is with him? With that dragon, _Kilgharrah_?" Arthur tried to still understand.

"Yes. Lancelot and I succeeded call him. He was nearby because he was felt that Merlin was in grave danger." Gaius tried to focus in good side of this whole messy situation.

"Lucky. Yes. But, you haven't heard anything then?"

Gaius shook his head. "Not yet."

"So, what happened?"

"The spell Merlin casted was very powerful. Maybe it was too powerful even. That spell Arthur, was created to make magic disappear."

Gaius let the idea sink to Arthur's mind.

"You mean… Merlin's magic… But it… it destroyed magic inside of me and let me to alive. Then why Merlin…" Arthur swallowed. Just a moment ago he was though that. "Oh no, no no, don't say it." Arthur knew it was true. There was so little hope to Merlin who was magical being.

"I think that you understand now." Gaius' eyes were filled with tears.

"Maybe it just take long time. You said that it was bad." Arthur tried to be hopeful. Gaius nodded.

"Yes. Maybe."


	2. The Emrys part 1

Arthur coughed. The fever had risen again from the previous day, and he was back to his bed.

"Gaius."

"Yes sire?" The old man turned to look the prince who was paler than Merlin ever had been.

"You, you have to tell me something. About Merlin." Arthur begged.

"What it is?" Gaius asked.

"I know that I should ask him when… But I can't…" Arthur hesitated. It was still hard to speak about Merlin. Gaius nodded and sat beside the bed.

"What do you want to know?"

"Who he is Gaius? Who he really is? I remembered, that demon. He called him Emrys."

Gaius smiled. "It is actually his name. Myrddin Emrys. He doesn't like it. But all the druids know him at Emrys.

"Emrys. Like, immortal?" The name was giving hope to him.

"That is the meaning of that name, but I don't know if we should relay in that name sire." Gaius noticed the prince's hope rising.

"I know, I know." Arthur tried to smile then he realized something.

"Is it truly his name?"

"Yes. It is his father's family name." Gaius admitted. Only, that he didn't know was it right thing to do.

"His father's family name. If that is so, is it related to the name Ambrosious?"

Gaius looked surprised. "You noticed it. Yes, it is."

"So that means that Merlin is so much more. In the long line he is related to me." Arthur couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You really have same ancestors. His was Caius Merlyn Britannicus, Aurelius Ambrosius' brother."

"He was named after Britannicus. Cousin. He is like cousin to me." Arthur murmured. It felt right. Arthur shut his eyes. He felt tired and knew that the medicine was working. "Does he know?"

"No." Gaius collected his gears to leave. "He has never asked and I… I think that it's better that he create his own way without that he know about the past of his family."

"Yes. The world has to know him as Merlin." Arthur agreed and yawned.

"You have to sleep sire. We can't afford that the fever rise again." Gaius patted Arthur's hand but Arthur was already in sleep.


	3. The Emrys part 2

_Oh, thanks your feedback _lozmcdoz_. I thought that everybody already have forgotten all of this, but now I was immediately inspired to continue. Thank you._

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><p>Arthur dimly realized that someone tried speak to him. He tried to understand but it was all unclear. What had happened? Why was he in bed? Why everything around him was covered in fog? He slowly drifted back into darkness.<p>

When he woke up the next time, there seemed to be a little more sense at matters. Someone sat at his bedside.

"Merlin?" He whispered. Figure stood up and leaned over him.

"Emrys is not here now. Would you like to drink?"

"Merlin ..." Arthur repeated, and he tried to sit up, but he was gently pushed back. He felt something wet on his lips and drank.

"Your Highness, you have a very high fever. Do you understand? Gaius asked for my help, I'm Gilan, a healer."

"Emrys ... " Arthur closed his eyes. He was dizzy. Merlin ... Emrys ... Arthur somehow managed to gather his thoughts and he looked again online. "You are the ... druid."

Gilan smiled. He had a gentle smile and great green eyes.

"Yes, yes I'm."

"How? My father…"

"Your father didn't have lot of options. Gaius said that he needed help if he was going to save you. And because the illness is associated with magic, he asked for my help. Believe me, I have quite a guard in my heels. In general, Gaius said that he and Emrys would have handled you, but something happened and he's not here."

"Merlin." Arthur muttered, and turned away. He fell asleep. It took a day before he was awake again, but his condition was better. He followed how Gilan moved around the room preparing the medicine.

"Gilan." Arthur called him. Druid turned to look at him.

"Your Highness?"

"Do you know him, Merlin?

"Emrys? I do not. Unfortunately. Only a few have had the privilege to meet him. He does not really belong us Druids." Gilan answered.

"Tell me. Tell me about _Emrys_." Arthur asked. Gilan walked beside of him.

"I can only tell what the prophecy say. And what I have heard about him from others who had met him."

"Tell me. I want to know."

Gilan nodded and and he handed the cup.

"Drink this, and I'll tell you."

Arthur obeyed. Medicine was bitter, and almost as bad as what Gaius usually did. Gilan sat down. He remained silent for a moment looking out the window pensively.

"Emrys is a Warlock. It means that he is born in magic. Everyone who practice magic is born with some talents. But we have to study a lot. Only few people are gifted at a young age. And only a very few people will be able to control his powers as a young if you do not know what he is doing. Emrys is very unusual. To him magic is a part of him, part of his soul, which makes him very similar to that for example, dragons or unicorns. He is a magical creature. He, too, will have to learn a lot, but it is very easy for him. And what the prophecy says, applies equally to you than him, too. More than twenty years ago, your father did something that upset the balance of magic. Many died, many fled. It is something which I do not say anything, because I think that one day you ask about it your Father. But even before the king's actions, among the Old Religion, and particularly its upper circles, has been discord. Priestesses and priests, especially the high priestess, are responsible for ensuring harmony. Harmony of human beings, nature and magic alike. But the evil has nested among them. Magic has been misused. And it is predicted that the Emrys will end that and eradicates all the injustice and restore the balance. That he help brings back the lost Golden Age, and he stood beside the Future King connect this country's nations and bring the peace over this land."

"How do you know, that _Merlin_ really is this Emrys?" Arthur was difficult to comprehend that Merlin would be something so great, that that clumsy country boy would have more power than any king. Gilan leaned toward him.

"We can feel it. All those who are not blinded and turned back to Light, can feel his steps. He has already done things which no any druid, sorcerer or witch was never able to. But we'll wait. We look forward to the time when he stands alongside the King, and he has condemned the destruction, that which has poisoned the mind of so many. And when he asks us to follow him, we will follow without hesitation."

Arthur stared at him. Everything what Gilan said was said calmly, speaking of the facts. His trust to Emrys was unwavering.

" I hope ... I hope that someday I too have the subjects like you. I hope that I can someday get to experience the same kind of loyalty than what you have toward Emrys." Arthur said.

Gilan pressed his hand on his arm, pressing it firmly.

"But you have already. You just haven't yet noticed it. Now, sleep. Perhaps you feel better, but the battle is not yet over. Collect your powers that you can meet again the spring sun."

Wondering Arthur fell asleep.

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><p><strong>READ THIS!<strong>

**When I end my story So it must be, I then begin to write a sequel either the story **_**Tired**_** or **_**Future to remember**_**, and I can't decide which one. Both stories get more and more alerts every day. So I'm going to follow the advice that I write it in the story I have received more reviews. So, you still have time to comment those stories.**


	4. Hard truth

Arthur stared at his father at the same time feeling a deep horror and disgust towards the man whom he felt respect and love. Uther had turned his eyes away, and Arthur had relied over a table looking for some real support. Until recently, Arthur probably would have felt the same way as his father toward magic. Perhaps he would have slaughtered hundreds of people in vain if his wife had died because of one vicious witch. But Merlin had changed Arthur's view to the magic and life itself. He had learned to understand how a double-edged magic was. How much it demanded and consumed the people. He had talked with Gilan about Druids approach to magic. Each had its own views. And he was able to understand why his father felt anger towards it. But no longer he couldn't understand why killing innocent people just because they may not have been other opportunities. As Merlin.

Arthur felt dizzy. He had wanted to know, but he didn't know what now? What will he think of the whole thing? How he would be able to see look his father in the eye? Did Gaius knew? Or Merlin? Probably. Seemed to be a bit of what those two did not know. What about the law? Uther had been forced to give up a little. Because of Arthur. Arthur knew that a single error could reverse the direction. If Gilan fail...

"Arthur? Are you okay?" Uther rose to stand with concern, but Arthur reached out and shook his head.

"No, don't. Just let me be."

"Arthur ..."

"No father, let me think about this. I, I do not see things as you. I can not ..." Arthur retreated towards the door. Dizziness worsened. He groped for the door handle. His feet betrayed, and the darkness surrounded him.

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><p><em>Oh, if you want to know, sequel to <em>Future to remember_ is going to be **Before the sunset can't be... **Coming soon :)_


	5. Cousin

Arthur was able to hear how they talked, but he did not manage to open his eyes or even move. He felt heavy. It was hot.

"His fever rises. Sire, you have to free Gilan."

"He failed. Magic can't help."

"But not an ordinary medicine either sire. Arthur's injuries are very serious and caused by magic. Gilan is only one by now who is strong enough to help him now when Merlin is gone."

"Do not say his name. This whole mess is his fault."

_Father, no._

Arthur felt how dry his mouth was. He was not able to defend his friend. After all, he told what had happened? Didn't he? It wasn't Merlin's fault that he was dying. Merlin had tried to save him. Merlin had saved him many times.

"Are you seriously going to kill Merlin when he return?" Gaius' voice was quiet.

"It's a law." Uther's answer was wrong-headed.

"Even if he is related to you?"

Became quiet.

_Emrys. Merlin is related_. Arthur thought.

"Does Arthur know?" The king asked.

"Only that Merlin is related to Britannicus. Even Merlin doesn't know it. Uther, are you going to kill your blood relative? He is after all, your cousin."

_A cousin. Yes, cousin. But, father's cousin?_ Arthur had heard wrong.

"It can not be ..." Uther resisted.

"I showed you the family tree. I showed the evidence. Merlin is Balinor's son. Balinor was your father's half-brother. The fact that you saved Balinor's life ..."

"I do not tried to save his life." Uther denied but his voice was too soft.

"But you gave him to opportunity to slip out of your grasp. I remember how relieved you were when he finally just disappeared and you were able to stop searches. And do you really want to deny it, why in Pendragon's coat of arms bear a dragon's image." Gaius demanded to know.

_Dragons_. Arthur tried to think. _Dragons and Dragon Lords_. _Pendragon_. _It make sense. _

His father didn't answer.

"No one, ever, do you hear, can know this. Not that Merlin is sorcerer, and that he is my cousin. Nothing Gaius. And no words ever to Merlin. Then, then I maybe spare his life." Uther hissed.

_Good job Gaius. You did this because you wanted to save Merlin's life. Even my father can't kill his own blood. _Arthur smiled and heard how the door closed. He felt how someone came stood beside him.

"It was my last chance. But it worked." Gaius sighed. "But his hatred toward macig is so deep in his heart and soul that it's up to you, and Merlin, that you can chance this country's fate someday. And Morgana… You haven't heard anything yet my boy."

_Morgana? What about Morgana?_ Arthur wanted to ask but he felt that he was drifting away again.


	6. Morgana

"I hope so much that he comes back." Morgana said. She sat beside of the window looking the courtyard below her. "Then I have someone to talk about."

Arthur stared Morgana. He was still unable to fully comprehend Morgana's revelation. She was seer. From whom she had inherited the skill if she had?

"You can talk to me." Arthur sounded little bit hurt. Morgana shook his head.

"You don't have magic Arthur. If I had known... If I had known that Merlin is a warlock. And that you were still ... " Morgana hesitated.

"His friend? We didn't know about you. But now I know. " Arthur smiled.

"And I'm glad about that." Morgana returned the smile but turned her head away.

"Do you think that I can never tell your father? " She asked quietly.

"No, I don't think so. " Arthur remembered the conversation between Gaius and Uther. "Merlin can be only exception. Taking into account that he really has saved my life many times. And yet, I still can't be sure that father save his life or give him permission to come back to Camelot. But if he returns, then maybe…"

"He will be back." Morgana sounded so sure.

"Have you seen it?" Arthur was curious.

"No, but I promise to you, that if I ever see anything about him, I tell you. You sound really tired. What Gilan said about your condition?" Morgana didn't sound worried, she seemed confident that Arthur's health would improve sooner or later. Maybe she knew something. Maybe she was saw something. But Arthur couldn't ask. He just hoped.

"That there is still hope." Arthur grinned.

"Good. I have to go. Your father is expecting me to dinner."

But before she had time to leave, Arthur called her. "Morgana."

"Yes?"

"What about Gilan? He is druid and maybe he can help you?" Arthur suggested.

Morgana nodded. "I, have though about it. Really. Maybe I should ask. Thank you Arthur."

Then she was gone. Arthur was lying alone in his room. He longed company. He longed Merlin. Gwen came as often as she had time. The pain was relented. Gilan's drugs helped him to endure. He thought about Morgana's situation. It was a difficult one. If Morgana would have been a blood relative, maybe Uther would be able to give a chance. As in Merlin's case. Arthur felt a headache come back, and he closed his eyes.


	7. Swear to me

"Father…"

"I'm here…"

"You… You have to… You…"

"Gaius!"

"Promise me…"

"Arthur, please…"

"Merlin… Where… Where he… is? He… He is always… here…"

"Gaius, give me that. Help him to sit."

"I swear druid if he…"

"Sire, please, not now."

"FATHER!"

"I'm right here."

"Mer…lin?"

"He is not here."

"Not… here? No… Right… He's… gone…"

"Sire, you have to drink this."

.

.

.

"Father…"

"You have to sleep son."

"Promise… promise me… Merlin… If… If I don't… He's your… Promise… Safe his life… Promise…"

"Arthur…"

"PROMISE!"

"Sire…"

.

.

"I promise."

"Swear…"

.

.

"I swear that Merlin's life is safe. Now, sleep, please."

"Thank… you… Than…"

...

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><p><em>Alright, I hope you liked this chap, little bit different, right... Yes, and the sequel to Future to remember is now started, <strong>Before the sunset can't be...<strong> I'm going to end this before the christmas (I hope) and after new year I start to update the sequel._

_Thanks for the reviews. Yes, I like nice Morgana, but, oh, you see if you read the sequel. _

_Week for the last episode to season 4, I CAN'T WAIT! Thank gods the internet or else I have to wait years to see that. In my country we are so so late. _


	8. Gwen's wish

Gwen sat on a chair Arthur's bedside. He followed with concern the Arthur choppy breath. Gilan had said that he could do nothing more. That the end was attached to Arthur himself. Gwen turned his gaze out the window.

_Today the night is so calm._

She stared to the night sky and wished that Merlin could be there.

_I wait._

_I hope._

_Please…_

_I miss him so much today._

_I didn't get even the chance to say goodbye to him._

She closed her eyes.

_I hope._

_I have lost so much._

_I can't loose both of you._

She reached her hand and lowered it to Arthur's cheek.

_How cold you are tonight._

_You are here, beside of me, but you are dying._

"Please Arthur…"

She retired and sighed deeply.

_I can't sleep anymore. The pain in my chest is too heavy. _

She got up and walked to the window. She opened it and welcomed the frosty air. She looked at the stars.

_Today my yearning is overwhelming. _

Her tears froze on her cheeks.

_I wish…_

_How much I wish…_

_Come home, we need you._


	9. Merlin

Arthur was sitting in a chair in front of the fireplace. He didn't knew how long it had been that he was just sat there. He felt himself so tired. He felt someone's presence in the shadows.

"Merlin ..."

A familiar figure stepped forward and stood on his side. They watched the fire.

"I'm so tired Merlin."

"I know Arthur."

"Are you really here? Because, if you're not really here I hope that you leave. Just leave. Your presence still lingers here…"

"I can't leave you Arthur, not now."

Merlin sounded so sad. Arthur turned his head to look at him. Merlin stared at the flames.

"You are dying Merlin."

"So do you Arthur."

Arthur turned his gaze away.

"The wounds won't seem to heal."

"Those wounds are so deep, they are in our souls." Merlin explained.

"But the pain is real."

"Yes it is."

"So, you really are here?"

Merlin smiled but didn't answer. And Arthur didn't really longed the answer. Instead he asked.

"Why you are here?"

"You have to live Arthur. My duty is keep you alive."

"Hard job."

"You really don't know how hard." Merlin grinned.

Arthur stood up and faced Merlin.

"But you Merlin. This, all of this, you being here, here… where ever I'. It must cost to you."

Merlin looked away.

"This place is deep in your core. It's up to you do you want to leave. If you want, you just have to open that door."

Arthur turned to look at the door that Merlin showed. He didn't remember seeing it before.

"It does not stay there forever. The rest is up to you." Merlin said, his voice was only whisper. Arthur reached him but his hand went through Merlin.

"Merlin?"

"My time is up. This is all I can do."

"Merlin, say that you are going to be alright, say it." Arthur begged, but Merlin shook his head.

"I can't answer for that. I don't know the answer for that. I hope, I just hope that we see again."

And then he was gone.

Arthur stood still long time.

Eventually, he walked to the door and opened it.


	10. Spring

_Alright, this is just rewrote chapter (epilogue from Blind Future) so I hope you are not disappointed too much. And now this little story is ended. And you know what happened next (Future to remember). I hope Happy Xmas Time to all of you and after New Year I'm back with the story __**Before the sunset can't be…**_

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><p>"Do you know healer named Heather?" Arthur asked. Gilan nodden.<p>

"Yes. Why?"

"If you ever see her. Say my thanks to her. And that I was stupid and I didn't followed her advice."

Gilan looked confused.

"She saved my and Merlin's life last autumn." Arthur explained. Gilan stared him but nodded then.

"I say if I meet her."

"So?"

"What?"

Arthur stared both the healers.

"Can I go now? I haven't been out of the bed to four month."

Gaius smiled.

"Yes, you can go now."

Arthur was out of his room before they could say anything else. Gaius sighed and Gilan laughed.

"I don't know how he survived, but I'm glad he did. Now I have to go my friend."

Gilan clenched Gaius' hands.

"Everything all right?" Gaius asked.

"My head is still in place so, yes, I think so. Post a message if something comes in front."

"Of course. Gilan, thank you."

Gilan gathered his minor belongings and left. Gaius yawned. He felt that he hadn't slept the whole winter. Arthur was, however, survived. Now there was only one grief left. Merlin.

()

He found himself get out of breath too easily when he climb up the stairs and had to stop frequently to rest on the way. When he arrived, he stopped breathing in the fresh air.

His eyes, however, wandered and found a place.

Arthur's hand touched the blood mark that now stained the stone before him. Even after the long winter it was still there, the place their blood had mixed as one, where both of them lay dying together.

All had been etched deeply into Arthur. He doubted that he couldn't stop seen the nightmares before Merlin would safely be at home.

The sound of the door opening snapped Arthur out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see Gwen clutching an arm full of yellow flowers.

"It's officially springtime." She commented. "Just look at these flowers, aren't they beautiful." She smiled, walking up beside him.

"They are" Arthur agreed. "Beautiful just like you Gwen." He smiled brightly before kissing her gently.

"Should you be here?" Gwen murmured with a hint of worry.

"Gaius gave me permission; he said that I'm fine now." Arthur assured.

"I'm glad to hear that."

Gwen's gaze turned mournful as she let her eyes pass over the blood stain. "Do you think he's still alive?" she whispered sadly.

"I hope so." Arthur answered honestly.

"Then why after all this time has there been no word from him?"

"I myself took the whole winter to recover. For Merlin and the magic he possesses, I believe it must have been much harder." Or at least that's what Gaius and Gilan had told him, but even the old physician wasn't for sure.

"I miss him so much." She admitted. "It was a hard winter with your recovery and all, and when he's not here it's, it's…" Gwen's voice broke and Arthur pulled her to him in a firm embrace.

"I know." He murmured understandingly "And I promise you Gwen, if there is no word from him by midsummer I'll go and find him myself."

Gwen nuzzled, burrowing her head into the Prince's shoulder, and Arthur hugged her tighter.

"I'll find him Gwen." He swore. "I'll find him and I bring him back to us."

"Lancelot has been looking for information about him throughout the winter. He promised to notify us immediately if he hear something." Gwen said.

"Good." Arthur felt gratitude. But at the same time, he felt even more powerless. He was going to take more time before he would be completely healthy and be ready to left Camelot.

And there was some issues with his father too what he should clarify first. He could vaguely remember that he was made his father to promise something.

"You feel cold Arthur. And you're awfully pale." Gwen lifted up her hands on the Arthur's cheeks. Arthur smiled.

"I suspect at times that I don't deserve you."

Gwen blushed and tried to pull out, but Arthur pulled her back.

"You know, I made a decision this winter. One, regardless of whether or not Merlin is here."

"Yes?" Gwen whispered.

Arthur looked deep into Gwen's eyes.

"I'm not going to lose anyone anymore, Guinevere."

And he kissed his beloved woman.


End file.
